It is the physical act of painting that makes me happy, especially working large. I love making dynamic, gestural brushstrokes and assertive, juicy scribbles. I love the energy it takes, the risk-taking it requires. I have to be fearless. It is incredibly satisfying.
Lately, I started working on smaller, simpler compositions There is still a great deal of playing and randomness involved, but the energy seems different; slightly more calm and deliberate, allowing me to explore a different side of myself.
I'm not exactly sure where my ideas come from. I think my paintings depend on what kind of mood I'm in on any given day. That usually dictates what kind of music I put on in the studio. Then I just paint. I may start out with a certain feeling, but after a while, I no longer notice the music. I'm just making marks.
It would be fair to say that I often start out with "reckless abandon". The next phase is usually struggle. So much deliberation! Some decisions work out great, others, not so much. The trick is to keep on going, keep on learning. In the end, I want a painting that feels resolved, but with some rawness and traces of its history.